Last year's winner was the incoming football player who hadn't preregistered, didn't have his Student Data Sheet, didn't sign up for financial aid, didn't sign his housing contract; basically didn't have any documentation stating that he was a student at Olivet. His reasoning? "Um, I play football." As if I was supposed to pull his name out of the Golden Box of Football Players that magically takes care of everything. Nice try, buddy. You're a Golden Star.
This year? While walking through the hallway I overhead a (very fake) blonde girl exclaim, "Lauren Conrad is my idol!!" I shook my head and returned to my post at the cashier's desk only to realize that Ms. Wanna-Be Hilton was next in line. Here's a rundown of our 5 minute conversation:
- Blonde Girl: "Ok, um, I need to like sign something or whatever so I can go to class."
- Me: "Ok, here's your Student Data Sheet. It looks like you have a credit on your account."
- Blonde Girl: "Um, I'm not paying with a credit card. My daddy already made a payment."
- Me: "I know. You don't need to make a payment. You have a credit."
- Blonde Girl: [blank stare] "I don't get it."
- Me: "You have extra money left over. You don't need to pay anything. You have a credit."
- Blonde Girl: [blank stare] "But I already said that I'm not paying with a credit card. I don't get it!"
- Me: "Ok. See this big number? If you take the big number away from the little number you have money left over. That means you do not need to pay any money. You do not owe us any money."
- Blonde Girl: [blank stare] "Oh my God, wait! [long pause] Did you get your pants at The Limited?!"
- Me: [blank stare] "No. Please just sign your name here."
- Blonde Girl: "Seriously? Cuz I just bought a pair that look just like those. Are you sure you didn't buy them at The Limited?"
- Me: "Yes, I'm sure. Please sign here."
Congratulations, Blonde Girl! You are truly a Golden Star.