Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Dichotomous Wunderkind

The title for this blog post was originally going to be "Stupidity Has a Name....and It's Me!" but then I reread the title of my previous post...."Newsflash: I'm Brilliant." Huh. Welp, at least I keep things interesting.

I will admit that even though I take my academic intellect quite seriously and shamelessly brag about it on a public website, I must also admit that I can be one of the dumbest people on this Earth. Case(s) in point:
  1. I cannot count money. Sure, I can sit and count out pennies, nickels, and dimes, but ask me for change from a $5.50 purchase with a $10 bill and I'm stuck staring blankly at you while secretly trying to count on my fingers. And considering I work in the Student Accounts office, you can only imagine the exasperated looks I get from students.
  2. I forget things. A few weeks ago after returning home from a workout, my house smelled like something was burning. I quickly ran to my bedroom to discover that I had left the radiator space heater on. On the carpet. For two and a half hours. Unattended. Good thing I'm the landlady.
  3. I'm not creative. Take one step into my house and you'll notice how it looks exactly like page 26 out of Martha Stewart's October magazine. Take one look at my wardrobe and you'll notice almost every outfit has been bought off of a mannekin. Take a look at my kindergarten drawings and I bet you they look just like Kevin Hurta's.
  4. I cheat. This may not necessarily represent my intellect, but it does reveal my "less than smart" side as cheating is dumb. I have to win at all costs and will shamelessly cheat at party games, video games, board games, pick-up basketball games, "guess how many M&M's are in the jar," etc. Horrible, I know.
  5. I pretend I'm someone else. I've done a lot of traveling by myself and I admit that every time I meet someone on a plane, I have a different pseudonym and life story. I should stick to one alias such as Regina Filange or Anastacia Beaverhausen and thus continually build the character, but again -- see #3. (Note: I don't have multiple-personality disorder or any type of psychological disorder -- I just think it's fun in a dumb and twisted way.)

Trust me, there are plenty more examples and I'm sure many of you will have the opportunity to witness them. I just ask that you please laugh silently.

1 comment:

Megan said...

Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), as defined by the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a single person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.