And in typical neurotic-Lauren fashion, I'm not freaked out about "normal" wedding things like the groom not showing up on time (ok maybe just a little) or the ring-bearer balking halfway down the aisle. Nay nay -- I am stressed that:
- The groomsman's (groomsmens'? grooms men's?) boutonnieres will not be pinned symmetrically
- All of the Starbucks in the south suburbs of Chicago will be closed for just that one day
- I will forget to dust the inside of my Jetta (which will sit in my parents' driveway the whole time)
- The milk in my refrigerator will turn to cottage cheese
- I will sneeze during the ceremony (my sneezes sound like a fart sometimes)
- Billy will somehow stab me, the pastor and/or himself (see Jewish Marriage Covenant)
- Our hotel room for the wedding night will not be up to my standard of cleanliness, and we'll have to change rooms a hundred times like Monica & Chandler
- Billy will have gas and thus silently kill half of our wedding party
- Our DJ will play the "Chicken Dance"
- My grandmother will ask Billy (again) if he's wearing clean underwear
Since I will probably not be online again until after the wedding, I will be sure to make note of the above concerns and let you know if any of them come to pass. Until then, Matzel Tov!