Friday, February 20, 2009

Signed, Sealed, (almost) Delivered

My wedding countdown has officially made it to the single digits, and I can honestly say it's caught me off guard. It's not that I'm not ready -- with a mom who moonlights as a wedding planner and a sister who completes "to-do" lists like it's her job, my wedding has been ready since October. Truth is, I don't handle dramatic change very well, and I have taken comfort in telling myself, "I have ____ months left so don't stress out." Well, now that ___ is 8 days and needless to say, I'm a bit freaked out.

And in typical neurotic-Lauren fashion, I'm not freaked out about "normal" wedding things like the groom not showing up on time (ok maybe just a little) or the ring-bearer balking halfway down the aisle. Nay nay -- I am stressed that:
  1. The groomsman's (groomsmens'? grooms men's?) boutonnieres will not be pinned symmetrically
  2. All of the Starbucks in the south suburbs of Chicago will be closed for just that one day
  3. I will forget to dust the inside of my Jetta (which will sit in my parents' driveway the whole time)
  4. The milk in my refrigerator will turn to cottage cheese
  5. I will sneeze during the ceremony (my sneezes sound like a fart sometimes)
  6. Billy will somehow stab me, the pastor and/or himself (see Jewish Marriage Covenant)
  7. Our hotel room for the wedding night will not be up to my standard of cleanliness, and we'll have to change rooms a hundred times like Monica & Chandler
  8. Billy will have gas and thus silently kill half of our wedding party
  9. Our DJ will play the "Chicken Dance"
  10. My grandmother will ask Billy (again) if he's wearing clean underwear

Since I will probably not be online again until after the wedding, I will be sure to make note of the above concerns and let you know if any of them come to pass. Until then, Matzel Tov!


Christine said...

Haha! I snorted when I read that you were concerned about farting, or even about sneezing and sounding like a giant fart. Oh, Lauren. You're truly worrying about some dumb stuff. I know you know that, but rest assured, all will be fine. All that will matter is that you are married and bound to him. And then you can worry about the farting. Believe me, once you're married, any semblance of propriety that may have held through dating and engagement will be dropped like a hot potato. The farts will abound.


Jen S. said...

Hey, I found your blog through FB. Congrats on the wedding! I hope everything went off without a hitch!