So why did I take the plunge into eternal monogamy? A few not-so-obvious and rather trivial reasons:
- I wake up every Wednesday morning to find a fresh garbage bag liner in my kitchen can and the garbage cans lined up neatly at the end of the driveway. It's like I have my own Garbage Fairy --er, I mean -- Warrior. Garbage Warrior.
- Duke. Finally I get to fulfill my dream of driving a truck. And not just any truck -- a half-ton, dual exhaust beast of a Chevy. Dreams do come true.
- I no longer have to get out of bed to get a drink of water or turn off the light. All it takes is a simple, "Honey...". (Now, I realize that this privilege will be short lived, so I'm taking full advantage while I can.)
- Bottles upon bottles upon BOTTLES of ProActiv solution. Apparently Billy signed up for it before we married, forgot to cancel his order, and now we have an endless supply of facial cleanser, toner, and moisturizer under our sink. Dry skin? Oily T-Zone? Let us know -- we can hook you up.
- My house smells like a GQ magazine. Don't ask me why he needs to spritz cologne before going to work at a juvenile dentention center, but hey -- I'm not complaining.
- I don't have to worry if I forgot to lock the door, shut the window, or close the blinds. One perk of marrying a former security guard is the assurance that the house is in a continual state of lockdown.
- Pancakes and CMT after church on Sunday. Since I barely resemble a human being much before 9am, and since Billy insists on going to the 8:30am service, he rewards my good stewardship by making me breakfast and watching the Top 20 Countdown.
- At the end of the day, no matter how stressful or hectic it was, I find comfort in knowing that at least one person in this world is rooting for me. And though that person farts in bed, leaves the shower curtain open, and drinks expired milk, I wouldn't trade him for the world.