In the past, I've feared the "something big is about to happen" feeling. It was probably because I was doing something stupid and was on the cusp of either being arrested or kicked out of school or deported or excommunicated or something along those lines. But now that I have my ducks in a row (or at least in the same pond), we are anxious to see how God is going to move.
For the past several weeks Billy and I have begun to feel.....restless. I guess that's the best word to describe it. Our lives right now are comfortable and we are extremely grateful to finally have a handle on life -- better yet, we've allowed God to handle our lives. We are getting along swimmingly, we have a great house, we both have decent jobs, we finally have a handle on our finances, and we have wonderful friends and family, but there's this lingering feeling that God has something up his sleeve. I have no idea what it is -- I know my mother is probably praying that God will open up my womb and provide her with triplet grandbabies.
Billy has been searching for a police job for almost two years now, and the disappointment of failure is taking its toll. He's starting to look towards big cities as they have greater odds of hiring. As for me, I usually enjoy my job (more so the environment), but I'm ready for more. I do not feel as though I am living up to my potential and I know that God has something else out there for me; whether it's teaching Shakespeare at a major university or writing a column for a small town newspaper or becoming a personal trainer a giant health club downtown. I have no idea but the possibilities are endless!
I guess what I'm trying to say is that Billy and I are ready. If the Lord calls us to Louisville or Mesquite or Denver--then we will pack our bags. If He chooses to send us through the storm of switching jobs--we will buckle down and grab our raincoats. If He decides that we need to start a family right now--ah jeez--then we will clean out the guest bedroom so Mom can move in. All we know is that we want to follow wherever He may lead us and trust that His will be done. Who knows, I may still be here a year from now blogging about unflushed toilets and Ms. McEatsalot.