Life, Love, and Drunken Donkey Baseball

They say opposites attract. Personally, I think God got bored so He brought the Man and I into a relationship so He could sit back and watch the impending train wreck. Sometimes our differences are just too hilarious.

Last night, as the Man was filling out an information packet for a background check, he came upon a question regarding his participation in alcohol-related games. The Man seemed confused by the statement, so I started naming popular drinking games (beer pong, quarters, flippy cup, etc.). [Disclaimer: let it be known that I am aware of such activities through my south side Chicago upbringing -- not through personal experience.] His eyes suddenly lit up as he exclaimed, "Oh so they mean, like, drunken donkey baseball?!"

Yep. Drunken donkey baseball. Apparently it was a favorite pastime during Minong Days in northwestern Wisconsin. I could only imagine the summer nights spent with his buddies, watching their parents successfully maneuver a donkey around second while not spilling a drop of Milwaukee's Best. [This is a good time to point out that "drunken" refers to the players, not the actual donkeys. Although drunken donkeys would be quite entertaining.] I literally fell to the ground laughing over our vastly different childhoods.

He grew up playing in the woods, building forts out of sticks, chasing bears, eating cheese, and going sledding in July. I grew up playing in the street, building forts out of PipeWorks, chasing A's in science fairs, eating casseroles, and going sledding on the man made Belly Button Hill. Somehow we fell in love and we make it work. Drunken donkey baseball and all.

Little Things

Despite my rather crippling Starbucks addiction, I like to consider myself a pretty simple person. I shop at Wal-Mart, I use a crock pot on a weekly basis, I buy my clothes at outlets, and I only use my cell phone to make phone calls. So when I logged into my blog this afternoon and noticed that 500 people have viewed my profile, I was pretty ecstatic. I realize that compared to my more experienced and talented bloggers, this is a drop in the bucket, (not to mention that approximately 492 views are probably from my mom) but either way, I'm still excited and this rambling Ramona thanks you.

Golden Star Award - Spring 2010

Yep, it's that time of year again: registration! And as you may or may not know, after registration I hand out my Golden Star Award to students who have made a particularly troublesome, yet ridiculously entertaining, impact on my life. Past winners include the incompetent football player ("Um, I play football?") and the infamous "Limited Pants" girl ("Ohmygosh, did you get your pants from the Limited?!").

I am happy to announce this year's winner(s): Mr. & Mrs. "We-got-married-on-a-whim-but-thought-we-could-live-in-the-dorms-until-my-RA-found-out-and-reported-us-so-we-need-an-apartment-like-today." [Believe it or not, this is actually a different couple from the ones on "Early Marriage: A Rant Part II." It must be an epidemic.]

Here's the story:
I received a phone call from Student Development informing me that they have a couple who needed an apartment asap. One day over Christmas break this couple decided that they wanted to get married, so they went to the local courthouse and tied the knot. They figured they could save money (aka financial aid) if he continued to live in the dorm while she lived in an on-campus apartment. On move-in day, he showed off his shiny new wedding band to his RA who quickly informed him that married men aren't allowed to live in the dorms. Panic. Enter: me - Rental Property Manager slash marriage counselor.

I won't bore you with the nitty gritty details, but I basically had to explain everything to this couple including what I meant by "monthly rent," how a lease works, how to pay a utility bill, why they can't live in the dorm, etc. I still can't understand the need to get married so quickly - nor can I figure out why they thought living in a dorm while MARRIED was a good idea. Oh and did I mention that they're 18?

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. In-a-Rush; you are truly Golden Stars.

2009: A Review

Yes, I realize that I haven't updated my blog in almost a month. In my little corner of the world, I like to think that y'all are on the edge of your seats waiting for my next witty post. Wait no more, my friends.

It's a new year (duh), which typically compels millions of people to create unrealistic resolutions. I am entertained by those who refuse to make resolutions, only to hide behind the pretense of "yearly goals." (Honestly, I highly doubt anyone is going to read a book each week for an entire year. And if you do, bravo -- you officially have less of a life than I do.) I have hereby made the devout commitment to do neither. In 2010, I will not make any resolutions nor will I set any life goals. Over-achiever, I know. But hear me out.

The way I see it is, if I were to sit down and hash out all of the milestones I am hoping to reach within the next year, I am setting myself up for disappointment. Yes, I would love to publish a book, apply/start/excel/finish grad school, get out of debt, adopt a dog, learn how to cook Julia Child's beef bourguignone, put away my Christmas tree, and travel to the Grand Canyon. But why should I limit myself to accomplish these things in one year? If by the end of 2010 I haven't done one of these things, am I a failure? Hardly. (For the record, I realize I could make more time-managable goals, but where's the fun in dreaming small?) This may seem like a very pessimistic outlook on life, but I like to think I'm being realistic. Aim low, then everything else will seem that much better.

So -- I am living 2010 with no goals, resolutions, or aspirations. By the way, I'm also thinking of becoming a motivational speaker for young students so if you're interested, please contact my agent, the Man. Thank you.