You Smell Like Rubber

Growing up, my sister used to always laugh at me for talking in my sleep. Occasionally I would actually yell at her about something, then have absolutely no recollection of it the next morning. So last night when the Man came home from the gym after I was already in bed, it's no surprise that I vaguely remember this conversation:

The Man [crawling into bed]: "Hey I'm home. Sorry it's so late."
Me: "Mmmhmm."
The Man: "I love you."
Me: "You smell like rubber."
The Man: "What?"
Me: "I smell rubber. You smell like rubber."
The Man [smells his hands]: "I don't get it. I smell like rubber?"
Me: "YES! You smell like...a rubber band."
The Man: "Oh it's probably because I was helping Shalley with his workouts. He uses huge rubber bands kinda like the chains."
Me: "You smell like an eraser."
The Man: "Well, now you can have sweet dreams of middle school."
Me: "More like nightmares. I hated middle school."
The Man: "Ok, how about elementary school?"
Me: "Yeah that's ok."
The Man: "I love you, sweetheart. Goodnight."
Me: "Please keep your rubber hands away from my face....I love you too."

At least, I'm hoping I told him I loved him. Sometimes I can get pretty mean when in a half-conscious stupor. Shows him right for coming home late and smelling like rubber.

Five on...Monday?

I guess it's my own fault that I can't use alliteration in the title. Last week was fairly busy for us, so unfortunately I didn't get a chance to write my fun facts on Friday -- so Monday will just have to do. Here we go...

1. Last week the Man traveled to an undisclosed location to interview for yet another undisclosed job which may or may not be life-changing. Vague enough? Anyway, we set a rather high budget for the short trip (36 hours) just in case and somehow the Man managed to blow through every.last.penny. He is no longer allowed to give me a hard time about spending my weekly fun money in two days.

2. Somehow I went from sitting on my butt watching "King of Queens" reruns to doing homework for graduate school, studying for my ACE certification, and preparing lessons for Financial Peace University. When did I get motivated?

3. Speaking of motivation, the Man and I had an interesting discussion about setting and achieving goals. Since he basically raised himself, he grew up having to work for everything he wanted. He has the strongest work ethic of anyone I know and refuses to settle for mediocrity. Meeting his goals isn't enough; he has to excel. And I admire him for it.

Me on the other hand - as long as I get an A, I'm all right. My motto throughout college (and yes, even now) is "minimum input for maximum output." Why study for 3 hours if I can study for just one and get the same result? Why run two miles when I can run 100 yards and not be obese? Unfortunately this attitude has left me bitter, bored, and just downright fat. I can't necessarily change my circumstances, but I can change my attitude (and what's in my fridge). Lesson learned.

4. On a happier note, I successfully made my first chicken fried venison steak. And no, I did not run two miles afterwards to burn off the calories. I'm bitter, remember?

5. Sometimes there's just nothing like driving down country roads in a packed Jetta singing Journey and Styx with your husband, brother, and soon-to-be sister in law on the way to a line dancing bar. Pure happiness.

Golden Star Award: Fall 2010

It's that time of year again: leaves are changing, temperatures are falling, students are returning. With fall comes a new semester and a new semester means registration and registration means...

The Golden Star Award!

Typically I give the GSA to a stand-out student who inadvertently goes out of his or her way to make registration just a bit more entertaining. This year, it wasn't just one but a slew of students who deserve the coveted GSA:

• The nerdy member of the marching band who got a girl's number while waiting in line for financial aid. FAFSA + saxophone = true love.
• The blonde senior who came up to me and I quote, "So uh, someone told me that I like, need to sign something or whatever so I can, like, go to class or something? I'm not really sure cuz like, my parents always do this stuff and like I just don't know."
• The mother with unbearable body odor who confronted me in the bathroom. She insisted on showing me the burn on her hand that she received from cooking dinner and proceeded to explain why she needs to wash it thoroughly in order to prevent MRSA.
• The freshman who couldn't figure out how to write a check and subsequently went through four trying to get it right. She still ended up writing a check for "thirty hundred and two dollars."

I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed that I didn't have one stand-out GSA this year. I kept hoping that the next student would say something ridiculous or comment on my pants. Perhaps this group of students is of a higher caliber....but it's more likely I missed my chance during my lunch break.