Conversations With the Man (Part II)

This is why we don't have kids yet...

(I call the Man from work to ask him a question. He answers with a weird tone in his voice.)
Me: What's wrong?
The Man: Oh I just have a hard time multi-tasking.
Me: What are you doing?
The Man: Trying to get blood out of my pants.
Me: [long pause] Do I even want to know how?
The Man: Well, I was crushing the cans with my hands and felt that my hand was wet. I thought it was just water so I wiped it off on my pants. Turns out it was blood.
Me: Well, are you ok?
The Man: Yeah, it's just a small cut. But now I'm trying to get the blood out of my pants.
Me: How is that multi-tasking?
The Man: I took them off to soak them in OxyClean, but then I noticed that the bedroom was messy. I was cleaning up the clothes when I noticed that my nightstand was filled with junk so I started cleaning that. But then I remembered my pants were in the bucket of hot water in the hallway so I went back to cleaning my pants. And now you called so I'm talking to you.
Me: Did you do all of that with no pants on?
The Man: [No answer]
Me: Tell me you have pants on.
The Man: I do now.
Me: Do you need me to clean your pants?
The Man: No, they're soaking in hot water in the mop bucket.
Me: You put the entire pair of pants in the mop bucket?
The Man: Yeah.
Me: In the hallway?
The Man: Yeah.
Me: *sigh*
The Man: I took care of it.

Bam! It's My Birthday...

In light of the new job and big move, I almost forgot that it's my birthday! That fact in and of itself is pretty shocking considering October 27th is a national holiday and all...

Growing up my family didn't make a huge deal out of birthdays (read: no ponies or Super Sweet 16 bashes), but we kept little traditions to help us feel special.

• Birthday Cereal: As kids, we weren't allowed to eat cereals with more than 10 grams of sugar per serving. Whenever we went grocery shopping, we were trained to read nutrition labels to see which cereals were acceptable. (To this day, I have the sugar content of many major brands memorized.) On our birthdays however, we could choose any cereal we wanted and it was our special birthday cereal. Count Chocula was my choice every time.
• Birthday Hot Lunch: I went to a very small public school on the south side of Chicago where we didn't have a cafeteria or lunch room. From 1st through 8th grade, everyone brought their own sack lunch and we ate at our desks. On my birthday, my mom would ask what hot lunch I wanted (read: fast food) and she would deliver it to my classroom. I loved looking at the back of the classroom at 11:30am to see a Happy Meal perched on the bookshelf with my name on it. Happy day!
• Birthday Card from Papa & Gram: From age 1 to 18, my grandparents gave me a birthday card with the same amount of cash as the age I was turning. So on my 6th birthday, I received $6, $7 the next year, etc. It was a great and simple tradition, which they continue with my younger cousins. Now that I'm an adult, I still get a card with the same salutation, "Love, Papa & Gram XOXO" and it makes my heart so happy.
• Free Food: As a poor college student, I realized that certain restaurants give away free food on birthdays if I signed up for their newsletter. Sure my inbox is filled with stupid offers on any given day, but this week ALONE I received a free Starbucks drink, a free medium Dunkin Donuts coffee, a free appetizer from Texas Roadhouse, a free dessert from Beef O'Brady's, a free Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity from IHOP, and a free appetizer from Lonestar Steakhouse. Can't beat that.

So to the other 5,999,999,999 people in the world, it's just another Wednesday (or Thursday if you're in Australia). But to me, it's the one day a year I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and not feel guilty about it. BAM! It's my birthday.

Hello? *tap* *tap* Anyone Out There?

Ugh. Nothing saps the life right outta you like a cold. The Man started feeling a bit under the weather early on in the week and being the amazing wife that I am, subjected myself to the thousands of germs he sneezed and coughed onto my face while taking care of him. Thus, I've spent the last two days snuggled up on my couch with enough DayQuil, Afrin, cough drops, zinc drops, grape juice, and kleenexes to make it through Armageddon. Seriously.

All of that being said, I've had some time on my hands to finally update the blog. And since it's Friday, I think it's fitting to finally bring back the Five on Friday. And let me tell you....it's a DOOZY!

1. I guess I should probably start with the biggest news of all. Remember that super-top-secret-yet-possibly-life-changing job interview the Man had a few weeks ago? After several trips and one very important phone call, the Man has been officially offered a job as a police officer from the Louisville Metro Police Department! That's Louisville, my friends. As in, Kentucky. Yee haw.

2. Subsequently, our lives have gone from 0 to 648 mph in less than two weeks. The Man will be leaving for academy in two weeks, while I stay here through Christmas to finish out my job. We've already taken several trips down south for orientation, HR stuff, and to search for a place to live. It's been stressful to say the least, but it's so exciting knowing that the Lord has finally answered our prayers.

3. In the midst of the job offer, we thought it would be a good idea to get a dog. A few days after the Man was offered the job, we adopted an 18 month old American Staffordshire Terrier affection ally known as Hoss. Unfortunately, I got caught up in the excitement of finally getting a dog that I didn't exactly think it all the way through. Trying to take care of a dog while searching for a new job, finding a new place, and saying goodbye to my husband for two months is not exactly the best timing. So after many arguments and tears, we said goodbye to Hoss. We're hoping to adopt another dog once we're settled into a routine down south.

4. I'm sick. This sucks. My nose hurts. My sinuses hurt. My whole body hurts. And I'm sick of watching daytime TV.

5. If I have to watch one more stupid election commercial, I'm going to move to Canada and forget this whole thing. At least I'm moving to redneck country where you either vote Republican or you don't show your face. Makes the decision easy.

So in short, I'm sick and we're moving to Kentucky. Happy Friday!