Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Gonna Gitcha

Big news in the Heller house: I am composing this blog post from the comfort of my very own couch in our very own townhouse. I am sitting in my fat pants (after a thorough butt-kicking from P90x), chugging water, and listening my neighbors scold what I hope is their dog ("Go potty, Chance! No, Chance! Go pee, Chance! Chance, no!").

I have not yet found a job in the Louisville area, and since the Man and I are living on one income, our budget has tightened significantly. Despite our super-tight budget, I managed to convince the Man that my emotional well-being depends on my connection to the outside world via the Internet. Plus, I was spending just as much per month on coffee alone and those sweet concoctions are laden with fat and calories. SO...not only will I reduce the number and frequency of big noisy fusses, but I will be skinnier. I get to Skype my mom, and he gets a less emotional and more attractive wife. Everybody wins.

As we're slowly settling into the area, we're also learning more and more of the southern vernacular. For example, the Man came home the other day and taught me the meaning of "gitcha" and "gettum." The police aren't going to get you, they're gonna "gitcha." And they're not going to apprehend the suspect, they're gonna "gettum." Very important phrases. Also, it's important to differentiate the pronunciation of "Po-lice" and opposed to "Puh-lease." Apparently some perps just think the cops are being polite when they bang on the door.

The Man just finished his defensive tactics training at the academy, much to my relief. As tough as he is, it's hard to see him come home with bruises, cuts, and taser burns all over his body. He walked in the door the other night and was asleep on the couch by 6:45pm. Poor guy was exhausted. I guess beating the crap out of each other for 8 hours a day will do that to a person. Although my sympathy promptly ran out when he started chasing me around the house with his taser. Thus is the life of a cop's wife.

So in closing, we have internet, the Man is as snarky as ever, and I haven't yet cried this week. Oh and did I mention my mom is coming to visit in one week and two days? Life is good.

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