Why Did I Get Married? (Part II)

My previous, "Why Did I Get Married?" post celebrated the many wonderful attributes of my adoring husband. He's the most generous, kind, and loving man I've ever met and I praise God that he hasn't given up on me yet (the rhyme was accidental, I promise). I couldn't imagine loving anyone more than I love him. We've celebrated two months of blissful companionship and though I sing his praises -- sometimes I could just slap him upside his head. Case in point:

1. The "I-fart-in-bed-while-my-wife-is-trying-to-sleep-and-silently-pull-the-covers-over-her-head-in-an-attempt-to-suffocate-her" game. (It's a working title.)
2. I open up his closet to find all his dirty clothes laying on the ground right next to the hamper. Putting the clothes into the hamper that's six inches away is far too much work apparently.
3. The "Guess-which-toilet-I-didn't-flush" game.
4. He refuses to throw anything away. Our second bedroom is filled with an unused mattress, an electric car buffer, two paintball guns, a 3' tall stuffed Garfield doll, 4 industrial-sized Rubbermaid bins filled with various items ranging from Army BDU's to his Eminem cd collection, 35 textbooks, 16 hunting knives, and 3 motorcycle helmets. (Saturday, May 16th -- 8am-2pm -- 404 S. Rivard St. Bourbonnais -- Garage Sale of epic proportions.)
5. He has no self-control when it comes to food. I buy a family-sized bag of Sun Chips, and they're gone in one day. I've learned to hide my Oreos if I want them to last.
6. The "Guess-where-I-hid-the-car-keys" game.
7. My car, which he has been driving since it's better on gas mileage, has turned into his giant mobile backpack. I haven't been able to see the floor since January.
8. I'm still trying to train him to close the shower curtain after he showers to prevent mildew. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've bribed him with Oreos.

Most of these are simply for laughs, as I find them mildly entertaining. It's been fun living with my best friend and learning the ins and outs of the male species. Two months pales in comparison to a lifetime, so I can only imagine what this list will be like a few years from now! Until then, I'll keep trying to domesticate him while loving him just the same.