- "This is why I choose not to babysit. It's hazardous to their health."
- "Fat guys should not run topless. Period."
- "This watermelon is definitely fermented, but I'm going to eat it anyway because there's no alcohol in the house and I've had a rough day."
- "Dollar stores smell like China."
- "I'll move to the ghetto as long as I get a shotgun and a pit bull. And we name our first child Shaniqua."
- "A dead Faith is a useless Faith."
- "What's more romantic that Lethal Weapon 2?"
- "Can you imagine hail-sized chimpanzees? Or better yet, chimpanzee-sized hail?"
- "You'll be the first Jew to name his son after a French-Canadian hockey player."
- "Some husbands do laundry, others fix things -- mine eats pudding off the floor."
- "You have a great voice -- it has a weird quality to it. That was supposed to be a compliment."
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
This past weekend would be way more entertaining if I described it in various quotes overheard. Enjoy!