It's a little known fact that I have an unhealthy obsession with all things Christmas. The carols, the Mistletoe Yankee candles, the cookies, the snow, my neighbor's obnoxiously bright blue 'MERRY CHRISTMAS' sign continually shining into my window, the presents, the general warmth and merriment. I love almost everything related to the holiday season. Almost everything.
One of the few traditions I simply cannot tolerate is the annual "Look How Successful and Beautiful We Are, Don't You Wish You Could Be Us? P.S. Merry Christmas" newsletter. I simply don't understand the purpose behind it. Ok, so maybe something really important and live-altering happened in your life recently, like a marriage or the birth of your first child. But don't the people you send the letter to already know that? I'd bet that half the people on your mailing list were at the wedding or in the hospital waiting room. Or perhaps you want to take a chance to brag about your new job/promotion/successful career. If you really wanted to prove just how successful you've become, a check made out in my name would do the trick. Just a suggestion.
My mother asked me the other day if the Man and I were planning on sending out Christmas cards. Considering I haven't sent out my wedding thank-you's from over 9 months ago, I'm thinking not-so-much. I've considered writing a sarcastic newsletter of our own, detailing the oh-so-important happenings in the Heller household like rearranging the front room furniture and learning how to remove chocolate pudding stains from Berber. But then again, I wouldn't want people to be jealous of our posh Hollywood lifestyle.
So please, let this blog be a plea for mercy. I love Christmas and I love to know that the people in my life are alive, but please don't plague my mailbox with ridiculous newsletters. Cards will be appreciated. Cards with candy will be cherished. Cards accompanied by a fruitcake will be thrown away. Consider yourselves warned.
Oh, I almost forgot....Merry Christmas!