Every night on his way back from academy, the Man calls to tell me what cool new things he learned that day. Most of the time it's just law mumbo jumbo with a little bit of physical testing thrown in. (By the way, he got 2nd place in the Physical Standard Test and received the coveted black shirt. He benched 295 and did 109 consecutive pushups. He's awesome, I know.) Anyway, here are a few of the standout lessons he's learned thus far:
1. When frisking a female suspect, always check behind the bra as she may be hiding a .40 pistol between her shoulder blades.
2. In the South, a winter hat is called a toboggan. The poor Man spent the entire scenario project wondering why a perp would carry around a sled after robbing a gas station.
3. According to the sex crimes/abuse case worker, a woman's vagina is very accommodating.
4. Never try to slap handcuffs onto someone's wrists. It will hurt. (I may or may not have learned this lesson on my own.)
5. Lint is evil and wrinkles are the spawn of Satan.
6. Be mindful when frisking a gangsta with saggy pants. What may appear to be a weapon behind the belt buckle may be something very different...
7. Don't fall asleep during the taser lesson.
8. You can never use enough shoe polish.
All laughs aside, I am incredibly proud of him and what he's accomplished so far. He absolutely loves academy and is thriving in the environment. Just a few more weeks until we can move into our own place and be a family again. It will be so nice to spend more than 48 hours together. Until then, I'll keep learning about frisking, southern vernacular, and what items I can hide in my bra.