Disappearing Act

Now you see it...

...and now you don't.

Dangerous things happen when the Man has free time and a razor.

Morning Routine

(The Man comes home from work; I am in the bathroom blow drying my hair.)

The Man: I'm hungry, I think I'm going to find something for breakfast.
(He returns a few minutes later in nothing but his underwear and an unidentifiable object. He crawls into bed while eating said unidentified object.)
Me: What the heck are you eating?!
The Man: Leftover bacon I found in the fridge.
Me: Why are you eating bacon in bed?
The Man: It's the warmest place in the house.
(A few minutes later he runs back into the kitchen, returning with an unidentifiable object in a Tupperware. He crawls back into bed.)
Me: NOW what are you eating?
The Man: Leftover monkey bread I found in the fridge.
Me: So you're eating bacon and monkey bread in bed?
The Man: [pauses] Yes.
Me: You know, eating bacon makes you a bad Jew.
The Man: [shrugs] I'm ok with that.
Me: Jesus would be upset. What would he say if he walked into the room right now and saw you eating bacon in bed?
The Man: First of all, I'd be like, 'Whoa, hey it's Jesus!' Then I'd be like.......'Bacon?' You know it's rude to not offer food to guests.
Me: You can't offer Jesus bacon.
The Man: Jesus loves bacon.
Me: Would you invite Jesus to eat bacon in bed with you?
The Man: Yes. Yes, I think I would.
Me: *sigh*
The Man [offering me a piece]: Bacon?
Me: No thanks.

Aaaaaaand scene.

A Week Late and a Buck Short

I'm just going to come right out and say it: I am absolutely terrible at remembering important dates. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, bah mitzvahs -- you name it, I forget about it. Sometimes I have my act together enough to buy a card, but then I almost always forget to send it (i.e. the two Mother's Day cards sitting on my coffee table).

Please do not take offense. It's not personal (usually) and I still love you (probably).

That being said:

Last week my dear friend Megan celebrated her 25th birthday! (By the way, please let me know when we get too old to publicly admit our ages.....most people think I'm 14 so I'm eager to tell my real age. Thanks.)

Megster (as I like to call her) and I were randomly selected as roommates while attending Oxford University in England. Our house parent told us that we were put together since we shared a love of country music. 5 years later, we're still thick as thieves.

From England to San Francisco to Chicago to England (again) to Scotland to Santa Barbara to Disneyland to Washington DC....it's safe to say we've had quite a few "abentures." (Who else can sing the entire Wicked soundtrack a capella while walking across the English countryside?!) We've climbed mountains, jumped through bogs, drank Lord knows how many cups of Starbucks, memorized The Holiday, wrote papers until we cried, shared our deepest fears, and laughed until we ached.

She's been such a loyal friend through the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. So Megster, I hope you had the BEST birthday and I promise that one day we'll celebrate your birthday ON your birthday! Much love to you, my friend.

The Man, The Myth, The Enigma

The Man.

You know he's from the northwoods of Wisconsin. You know he drives a truck. You know he's a Jew. You know that he enjoys all things manly.

But...

Did you know that he can sew?

Not just replace a button on a pair of pants or stitch up an open wound...

Meet Mr. Buffalo:

I was introduced to Mr. Buffalo a few weeks ago when the Man's mother-in-law came in town. Apparently he is the product of one of the Man's several home economics courses during high school. When the Man first told me about this, I didn't believe him. Then he showed me this:

Genuine northwoods stitching. The Man said that he couldn't quite get the corners to line up so he did the best he could. I just stood there in shock as he continued to rattle off the other home-ec projects he's completed including a pillow, a sweatshirt (he sewed the hood on backwards twice), banana bread, a teddy bear, an apron, and apple pie.

Seriously?

The Man loves anything and everything to do with dirt, guns, and violence. His favorite movie is Braveheart and he owns a Scottish claymore (a really big sword). His high school career was defined by wrestling and football....and home-ec apparently.

Sigh.

He never ceases to surprise me.

(By the way, I named "Mr. Buffalo." According to the Man, he didn't want to name the stuffed animal he sewed in home-ec. That would just be too girly.)