Quotable Weekend

This past weekend would be way more entertaining if I described it in various quotes overheard. Enjoy!

• "This is why I choose not to babysit. It's hazardous to their health."
• "Fat guys should not run topless. Period."
• "This watermelon is definitely fermented, but I'm going to eat it anyway because there's no alcohol in the house and I've had a rough day."
• "Dollar stores smell like China."
• "I'll move to the ghetto as long as I get a shotgun and a pit bull. And we name our first child Shaniqua."
• "A dead Faith is a useless Faith."
• "What's more romantic that Lethal Weapon 2?"
• "Can you imagine hail-sized chimpanzees? Or better yet, chimpanzee-sized hail?"
• "You'll be the first Jew to name his son after a French-Canadian hockey player."
• "Some husbands do laundry, others fix things -- mine eats pudding off the floor."
• "You have a great voice -- it has a weird quality to it. That was supposed to be a compliment."

Way Back Whensday (Short Hair Edition)

As much as I would like to, I cannot take credit for this ingenious idea of rifling through old pictures and posting them for public humiliation. My friend Christine (of www.keepingupwiththecases.com) has several posts on her blog and I shamelessly followed suit. I figured the blogger world should see the old Lauren -- spikes and all. Ready?

Circa 2001: Silver Birch Ranch. Here I am sporting the classic hexagon glasses (the pair I ended up flushing down the toilet) and reverse-punk mullet: long bangs in front, short spikes in the back. I would put so much gel and hair spray in my bangs that they would plaster to my face and not move. Ever.

Circa 2000-01: Mission Mexico. My sophomore year of high school I went on a missions trip with my youth group. I'm on the right (obviously) again with the hexagon glasses and reverse-punk mullet. Seriously, why did I ever think that looked good??

Circa 2000-01: Mission Mexico. Here you can actually see the glare from the sun off of my plastered bangs. By the end of the day, the ends would begin to dry out and curl up my cheek like a mini Jerry-curl. So cool.

Circa 2003: Senior Prom. I finally put the reverse-punk mullet to rest and opted with the "Halle Berry in James Bond" look. I have to admit, I still kinda like this haircut sans the ridiculous amount of pomade and Suave Ultra Hold. Also please note that my pasty white skin blends perfectly with the white top of my dress and my homemade pearl necklace from Jo-Ann Fabrics.

Many thanks to Christine for giving me this idea. Be prepared for next week when I scan in some of my old family pictures -- it'll be good.

Squirrel and Stubby Ride Again!

After an almost 5 month hiatus, Squirrel (aka Megan Smalley) and Stubby (myself) will be reunited! Megan has been studying sports psychology at Springfield College in Massachusetts and I haven't seen her since my wedding.

Typically everyone knows when we're together since we tend to be a bit....well....obnoxious. (What else would you expect from people whose nicknames come from Bio Dome?)

She's driving in from her hometown of Flushing, Michigan and will be staying with Billy and I for the weekend. We don't care that her motives aren't only to see us, but rather to attend a former teammate's wedding....

I'm excited, nonetheless! More pictures and stories to follow, I am sure.

Why Did I Get Married? (The Mushy Part)

Buckle up – I’m getting sappy. A bit of background info: I had (have?) a very strong personality and had taken the token role as leader in all of my previous relationships. I was very domineering, which typically led the other person to see things my way, and I fell victim to the feminist worldview that men are weak compared to the intellect and influence of women. No one dared to confront me as I had a quick fuse and an explosive temper to back it up. I was in control and made sure that everyone knew it.

[Cue: God]

Despite my "anything you can do I can do better" mentality, I wanted someone else to take the reins. I grew weary of being “on” at all times – fearing that any falter would be perceived as weakness. There was this restlessness in my heart; a feeling that there had to be more. I needed more than just a date on a Friday night or a piece of arm candy. I needed a soul mate. Someone who would truly know me – not just the Lauren I would put on display – but the insecure, anxious, impatient, sensitive and fearful me. The Lauren who is afraid of the dark, who cries during The Biggest Loser, who hates spiders, and so desperately wants to meet everyone’s expectations. I needed someone who was ready and willing to take up arms to protect me against the lies of the evil one. Someone whom I could trust without reservation and who would seek the Lord’s wisdom above his own. Someone who would radically change my life.

[Cue: Billy]

And that he (He) did. God has used our relationship to draw me so much closer to Him – to seek Him as my source of strength, to trust in His timing, to rely on His provision each day. In Billy, He has blessed me with everything I didn’t know I needed. Billy and I are so much stronger together than we could ever be alone, and we are committed to remain as a team. And it doesn’t hurt that God granted all of this in a pretty darn good looking package. (I need a moment to reflect on His craftsmanship and artistry. Praise ye the Lord. Amen.)

So why did I get married?

Because God has been, and will continue to be, my Jehovah Jireh.

Happy 8th of July?

Ever since I learned how to post pictures on my blog, I find all of my non-picture posts quite boring. And since I'm so efficient at capturing our life happenings on film, I'm using pictures from last summer to describe our fun-filled day at the beach this past Monday. Don't judge me.

Billy and I have a pseudo-tradition of taking a day off of work and going to the Warren Dunes in Michigan. Yes, it's a long drive but the luxury of actually seeing the sun in the summer is well worth it. *Please note that even though these pictures are from last summer, they are eerily similar to our adventure two days ago. What exciting lives we live. I digress....

Before leaving, we hit the local Wal-Mart and stock up on Igloo essentials such as sub sandwiches, sweet tea, blackberries, and of course, DoubleStuf Oreos. What we don't bring, however, is suntan lotion.

We throw caution to the wind, reserve our optimal UV exposure spot, stuff our faces with food, and end up fried like an egg on blacktop. (How's THAT for an analogy?!) Sunburn aside, we've come to cherish the time we have together to just relax and get away. We haven't and won't get many chances to take vacations, so these little "get-aways" are heaven. Pure blistered, heat exhausted, aloe-soaked heaven.

And by the way, this was the first year I went without seeing fireworks on the 4th of July. I caught three large mouth bass and two bluegill instead. Yee-haw!